Originally written in December 2011
For those who didn’t watch wrestling in 1988 because (a) you weren’t old enough to, (b) wrestling wasn’t cool so of course you wouldn’t be caught dead watching it or (c) you were WWE lemmings so the NWA was off-limits, 1988 was kinda cool in the NWA. They elevated Sting, Luger turned face and almost won the NWA title, and Barry Windham turned heel, and went from being well…basically what they made Sting into – sans the warpaint, to being a heel almost on par with Flair (actually Windham was enough of a bad-ass that he almost became cooler than Flair). It wasn’t 1989, where Flair went from a technical classic with Steamboat to a face turn and an awesome brawl with Funk, but you do with what you got.
And the Road Warriors turned heel late in the year. I still remember my buddy Chris taking the Monday off from college after the heel turn was shown on TV. I remember coming across him in the lounge and you could tell he was not taking the heel turn well. (Although in retrospect, the Road Warriors should have always been heels, especially since they weren’t the greatest guys to work with, refused to put anyone over and couldn’t sell for sh!t!
Anyways, later on they attacked Dusty Rhodes, even going so far as to gouge his eye with one of the spikes off their ring gear. TBS execs were upset because they had this rule against blood (what, was Jane Fonda running for Congress and so they had to make everything PG?) Dusty said “screw it” and booked the angle…and got fired because of it. Let this be a lesson to you, folks, screw with the Network and you end up dancing in polka dots.
Anyways this is from Chattanooga, TN, so we get a Civil War-themed intro, as well as a montage of different NWA Championship belts, showing just how much better title belts looked back in 1988 compared to the crappy looking straps we have today. Wait…is that the Western States Heritage Championship? Was that even still around in December 1988???
Jim Ross and Bob Caudle are behind the mics for this show as we open with Ron Simmons and Eddie Gilbert vs. the Fantastics in the finals for the U.S. Tag Team titles. Not sure how a makeshift team like Simmons and Gilbert made it through the entire tournament, but whatever.
Jason Hervey of the Wonder Years is shown in the crowd. Hervey ended up banging Missy Hyatt for a while, worked backstage for WCW and TN and was the business partner of Eric Bischoff and an executive producer-type in a bunch of reality shows. (He and Bischoff’s company produced I Wanna Be a Hilton, Scott Baio is 45…and Single, and Hulk Hogan’s Championship Wrestling.) I don’t really know where to go from there. Sad to know we live in a world where Jason Hervey is still alive and continuing to come up with shows, each more brain-dead than the last and yet Eddie Gilbert (who, ironically was married to Missy Hyatt) who helped start Extreme Championship Wrestling is not.
Okay, maybe I should discuss the actual match: The Fantastics were brought in to replace the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express (who were probably the only talent to leave WCW/NWA in the 80s and NOT end up in the WWE.) They had a hell of a program with the Midnight Express.
Actually, my theory is that the Rockers were signed by WWE because they couldn’t get the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express…so it’s entirely possible that there’s an alternate universe in which exists “the Heartbreak Kid” Ricky Morton, former WWE Champion and Hall of Famer.
Both teams are faces and there were a couple of moments where “tempers were flared” but it was more of a back and forth match, where no one really worked heel. At one point about 20 minutes in…yes, 20 minutes in, the story developed that Gilbert’s left arm was injured, so the Fantastics went to work on the wounded limb. The fans were starting to get behind Gilbert but the Fantastics weren’t the heels.
Yeah…so 20 minutes in…Think about it. This is the opener. This is like William Regal vs. Justin Gabriel on Smackdown. I don’t care how great a story Regal and Gabriel could tell, there’s no way they get more than 2-3 minutes. And here we’ve got a title tournament final between two face teams all working as faces, and you’ve got the Gilbert injury storyline….and it looks like it’s going to a 30 minute time limit.
Holy crap! And with just seconds left, Fulton rolls up Gilbert (who had run himself shoulder first into the corner post (for the pinfall. The Fantastics win the U.S. Tag Team titles. Hell of a match and the story they told was great. The Fantastics, given their long-tenure as a team, were the right ones to win – although I think they lose the titles to the Varsity Club at Starrcade, so maybe Simmons and Gilbert could have gotten a short-term title reign. Still, Gilbert got a lot of sympathy and respect to help him in his face turn after a long career as a heel.
The only downside is we never got a shot of Simmons after the defeat looking at the camera and saying “DAMN!”
Lex Luger joins Tony Schiavone for the greatest promo in the history of our great sport! Actually, Luger says that since he can’t face Flair tonight, he’ll scout Flair’s tag match later in preparation for his Starrcade title match. Schiavone closes the segment off with this little gem.
Schiavone: “I do understand we have to go back to the ring, is that right? back to the ring? So let’s go back to the ring right now!” I think we should probably go back to the ring…yeah, like that’ll put butts in seats.
It’s Dr. Death Steve Williams vs. The Italian Stallion. Again, to put it in a 2011 perspective…This is like a jobber version of Santino Marella vs. uh..Mark Henry who could actually work? Okay, so in 2011, you’re not going to get a jobber vs. midcarder on Raw. Although ironically, the IWC is still gonna bitch when they book midcarder vs midcarder on Raw or Smackdown, not realizing that Williams vs. Stallion was what we were getting back on TV EVERY SINGLE FRICKIN’ WEEK in the day.
Before the match, we get a promo with Mike Rotunda and Kevin Sullivan, talking about his title match for the TV title against Rick Steiner. Actually, this segment is less a Clash of the Champions match and more like an episode of WCW Worldwide.
The ring announcer says 5 minutes remain and then comes back and says 25 minutes remain. (I think it’s 5 minutes ELAPSED!) Dr. Death gets the victory with his Oklahoma Stampede. After what must have been close to 10 minutes. Even the squash matches lasted longer in the NWA than the main events on Raw. May not have been Doc’s greatest match but considering I took my nickname from him, I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for Williams.
And we’re back with Schiavone, Luger and Jason Hervey(?!?!) Oh well, at least by the end of the night, Hervey hadn’t won the NWA title in a tag match. Why did Hervey end up getting cast as the obnoxious bullying older brother on the Wonder Years? He looks like a nerd.
For those keeping score at home, that’s the end of Part One. Part 2 starts with the same opening as Part 1, leading me to temporarily wonder if I’ve hit the right button or onDemand has screwed up.
As it turns out, it’s neither as we get Paul Jones vs. Ivan Koloff. Koloff has to wrestle with one hand tied behind his back. Silly rule, since Jones was a pretty accomplished wrestler in his day. I still can’t believe they turned Ivan Koloff face.
Okay…save for the Jason Hervey spot, I’ve declined from making comments about how the NWA production crew has the annoying habit of showing the fans in the audience. If I wanted to see the 80s marks with their 80s hair, I’d build a time machine, travel back in time, buy a ticket to an NWA show and then watch the audience. (Sure, like if I had access to a time machine, like I’d really use it for that!)
Okay, but enough is enough. They just showed a woman who was wearing a Christmas sweater…and had an embroidered Christmas tree on the front…and the lights on the tree really lit up….Oh the humanity! At least Ross and Caudle were more intent on talking about the match in the ring.
Hmm…I thought Paul Jones had passed away, but according to Wikipedia, he’s still alive. I think I was getting him confused with Gary Hart. Koloff wins but gets attacked by the Russian Assassins (the Angel of Death and Jack Victory). That leads to the Junk Yard Dog running out to chase the Assassins away. Okay, so not a mat classic by any means, but a good way to build up one of the lesser matches at Starrcade.
Time for the co-main event, Road Warrior Animal vs. Dusty Rhodes. Good ol’ JR is there to tell us that the winner of this match gets to pick his partners as co-holders of the World 6-Man Tag Team titles.
Well, Animal is in the ring, but Rhodes is “late getting to this facility”? Is that WCW speak for “He’s getting attacked in the back by Hawk”?
Anyways, let’s go to Magnum T.A. who’s with TV title contender (and future Florida Real Estate Agent) Rick Steiner. The world still weeps at the greatness that T.A. could have had. Anyways, he complements Steiner on the use of the belly-to-belly suplex. Steiner in turns talks to Alex, the little friend he drew on his hand. (Yeah, let’s not talk any more about that than we have to.)
As they cut back to the ring, we hear Steiner yell out “Mike Rotundo, I’m going to beat you to death!” We’re still waiting for Rhodes so let’s go to the commercial.
As we come back, Rhodes hits the ring. There was no explanation about Rhodes’ late arrival, so I guess we just won’t worry about it. Rhodes’ eye is patched up. Hawk hits the ring and we get a temporary double-team until Sting hits the ring. (Again, Rhodes and Sting would battle the Road Warriors at Starrcade.) Rhodes gets a chair from ringside and starts hitting Animal with it.
This leads to a dq with less than 3 minutes of action. Seriously? We get 17 minutes of Williams-Stallion jobber goodness, but we get less than 3 minutes of a high profile match like this?
The main event sees Ric Flair and Barry Windham vs. The Midnight Express. No entrance for the Express but Lane does do a “Sweet” (see what I did there? No…never mind) intro for Cornette.
Speaking of intros, I don’t know who the hell the night’s ring announcer was…but he sucked. At one point, he announced that “the Big Guy, Steve Dr. Death Williams” had win his match and now introduces Flair as “a limo-riding, jet-flying son-of-a-gun. He’s a quote diamonds and glitter, the NWA World Heavyweight Champion, Slick Ric Fliar!” (Okay, the written reproduction of the intro doesn’t do it justice, but he’s like one of those celebrities WWE brings in who doesn’t really know a lot about wrestling, and being very obnoxious just makes it worse! Oh well, at least he didn’t reference SummerFest!)
Okay, the main event is underway…and we’ve still got a half hour to go.
Interesting moment where Ross talks about how the Midnight Express took the NWA Tag Team titles away from J.J. Dillon’s camp, acknowledging the fact that the Midnights beat Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard to win the title…without actually mentioning the departed-to-WWE Arn and Tully.
It’s too bad that the title switch came in a really short series between the two teams when Anderson and Blanchard went to WWE. A lengthy series between those two teams would have been great. Actually as good as Anderson/Blanchard vs. the Rockers was, I would have rather seen Brainbusters/Hart Foundation. (I still remember reading about the title switch in the food court at Lambton Mall.)
In mid-match, there’s a picture-in-picture insert where Paul E. Dangerously cuts a promo about the upcoming Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express match at Starrcade. Hey man…that was Extreme! (I’d say those type of promos would be the next big thing, but I don’t want to go there!) Interesting to see the Midnight Express and Jim Cornette working face after so many years as heels. (Ironic that foes Cornette and Dangerously would go on to become two of the most brilliant minds in the industry.)
In the end, Horsemen manager James J. Dillon (real name: Jim Morrison!) hands Flair a shoe and in the confusion of Dillon and Cornette battling on the outside, Flair nails Eaton, allowing Windham to get the pinfall.
Again, to analyze the finish, it had to be obvious that NWA Champion Ric Flair and U.S. Champion Barry Windham weren’t going to job out just days before Starrcade. Could have seen the Midnights take a draw (double DQ most likely) but they were being pushed down the card a bit after a very short run as World Tag Champs.
Their feud with the Original Midnight Express was a highlight of the NWA but really they outclassed Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey. The big thing was that it brought Paul E. Dangerously to the big time. (Although Dangerously was already well-known for his feud with Jerry Lawler in Memphis in 1987 and, to a lesser degree, his time in the AWA…still, the NWA was a bigger stage than either…so you might say this was the first step towards the creation of an organization that changed the face of the wrestling business.)
Cornette gets some mic time after the loss. Again, weird to hear cheers for Cornette. He gives props to the entire match and all four men, but talks about how much his team proved they were the better team. He also talks about how the Midnight Express is going to rebound from some recent setbacks.
Back to ringside for Ross and Caudle to recap the night’s events. Finally, we get Schiavone talking straight through Malenko-Mysterio about whether is Sting is aligned with NWO Wolfpac or NWO Holly… Oh wait…no he’s talking with Lex
Luger, who discusses the main event as well as his own bout against Flair at Starrcade. That’s it for Clash of the Champions: Season’s Beatings. Nothing historic, save the Fantastics winning the U.S. Tag titles. Couple of points about that. According to the commentators, it’s the second time the Fantastics have won the U.S. Tag belts in Chattanooga, and the Sheepherders beat Simmons and Gilbert, but the decision was overturned when the Sheepherders went to WWE to become the Bushwackers.
Good use of NWA/WCW resource to further promote Starrcade. The card itself was pretty much set, but the commentators were able to take each match at the Clash and use it to hype Starrcade. I actually saw Starrcade on pay-per-view in a hotel in Waco, Texas. Coolest part: the feed went out for a few seconds during the NWA TV title match between Rotundo and Steiner…so somehow there was no record of me ordering the event and I got it free! NICE!
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