Reviewed in February 2012
True story: Over Christmas 1988, just a few weeks before the first Royal Rumble aired on pay-per-view, my family and I drove within site of the Houston Summit. This is, however, have a WWE house show from October 1986. It looks pretty good, with a Hulk Hogan title defence against Paul Orndorff, and a tag team battle royale.
We start off with the “Don’t Try This At Home” routine, which I’ve never seen the point of, since I thought wrasslin’ was all fake, and no one gets hurt? I guess when the ‘roided up freaks of pro wrasslin’ get hurt, it’s fake…but when some dumb kid gets left at home while their folks go off to play bingo and get drunk and does a flying splash off the coffee table and breaks their neck…suddenly, wrestling’s real and Vince McMahon is to blame. What-the-flock-ever!
Okay, white trash moronic rant aside, it’s time to get to the wrestling at the Summit, with a rare face vs. face singles match for two predominantly tag wrestlers: Jim Brunzell vs. Mike Rotundo. Yeah, I remember seeing interviews with Rotundo at the end of 1986 and it was obvious they were on the verge of turning him heel.
Spoiler alert: He left WWE, went back to Florida and ended up in Crockett/WCW as a member of the Varsity Club and then Michael Wallstreet, V.K. Wallstreet, Captain Mike, then IRS.
On commentary we have Gorilla Monsoon and Ken Resnick…Well, they got it half-right. Resnick was best when he was backstage holding a microphone, talking about the big card coming to the Joe Louis Arena.
Rotundo and Brunzell are pretty much keeping it scientific, just exchanging holds. There is one flurry where they start shoving each other, but then cooler heads prevail. Rotundo starts working over the leg of Brunzell. Eventually Brunzell does make a comeback and works on the leg of Rotundo (Wait … is it Rotundo or Rotunda?)
Anyways, we’re in mid-action when the bell sounds to signal a time limit draw. See, here’s where Crockett had the advantage. They announced the time of the match as it progressed (5 minutes have gone by…15 minutes remain.), which helped build suspense as it came down to the final few minutes and seconds. I always found the action heated up as the minutes and seconds ticked down, because guys knew they were getting close to the end.
In WWE, I’ve seen too many matches where it just stopped in the middle of the action, like nobody, save the timekeeper, really knew how much time was left. After the match, the two faces get into it with each other, until the referee breaks it up. Brunzell storms off, obviously pissed off. Hmm…would have pegged Rotundo for being the jerk, but maybe the idea was that Rotundo said something to him and Brunzell got upset.
Brutus Beefcake takes on S.D. Jones in the next match. This is pretty much what Brutus should have stayed: a flamboyantly-dressed mid-carder who cheated to get an advantage over JTTS like Jones. See kids: It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Beefcake got to main event no less than Starrcade ‘94 because he was buddies with Hogan.
Really WCW? You had Flair RIGHT THERE and you couldn’t have at least made it Hogan-Flair for a Starrcade main event? Of course, Starrcade 1994 also had Mr. T go over Kevin Sullivan and almost had the Honky Tonk Man vs. Johnny B. Badd (Honky left WCW so Arn Anderson did the job) so it’s not like they were really trying. Anyways, Beefcake goes over Jones, to no surprise.
Big John Studd takes on the Big Machine. I think Studd breaks kayfabe, saying “no big redneck is going to slam me” referring to Blackjack Mulligan who was under the Big Machine mask.
Within minutes, the Machine slams Studd. However, Studd takes over shortly after when the Machine goes for a slam, he collapses and Studd gets the pinfall. Wires must have gotten crossed somewhere because the commentators talk about what a suprise turn of events has taken place.
Greg “the Hammer” Valentine takes on Steve Gatorwolf. We shouldn’t knock this as a midcarder vs. jobber match. After all, Gatorwolf did make an appearance on Saturday Night’s Main Event earlier in 1986. Of course, that was just a squash to get King Kong Bundy over for his Wrestlemania II bout vs. Hulk Hogan. (Bundy attacked Hogan later in the evening.)
Wait…according to Online World of Wrestling, Steve Gatorwolf went on to greater glory in the Arizona Wrestling Federation in the early 1990s and won the American Wrestling Federation title in 2003. This might be more impressive if the same website lets the cat out of the bag that Gatorwolf was the owner of the Arizona version of the AWF…so it’s kinda like Larry Nelson fawning all over Verne Gagne for being a multi-time AWA champ. Not quite so impressive when you own the damn company.
The Valentine-Gatorwolf match turned out to be akin to something you’d see on Wrestling Challenge for the same time period. Valentine gets to show off his repertoire. Gatorwolf gets about 3 seconds of offence and then it’s time to go home.
The Iron Sheik vs. Davey Boy Smith is up next. Volkoff is out for the Sheik, but all Davey Boy has is Matilda. The Sheik gives this match points right off the bat as he gets on the mic. After having seen some of the Sheik Shoot videos on YouTube (or just videos of the Sheik out and about and causing trouble), I love seeing him on the mic.
Sheik and Smith exchange the advantage. At one point, the Sheik has a camel clutch on Smith, and at another point, it’s Davey Boy with the power slam, but the Sheik kicks out. As Davey Boy comes off the ropes, Volkoff trips him up on the outside to draw the DQ. Afterward, the Iron Sheik and Volkoff double-team Smith. The Dynamite Kid comes in and manages to clear the ring.
Considering the Sheik and Volkoff were slated to regain the belts at one point, I guess this was a good way to set up the series where the belts would change hands.
It’s time for the Main Event of the first half of the show. Bobby “the Brain” Heenan leads Paul Orndorff to the ring for battle against WWE Champion Hulk Hogan. Gorilla Monsoon points out that if Hogan is dq’d, he’ll lose the title.
Orndorff gets the early advantage, getting the jump on Hogan as he tries to enter the ring. Good moment early on in the bout as Hogan is down on the mat (thanks to Heenan) and Orndorff distracts the ref. Heenan places a chair on the fallen Hogan. The Hulkster gets up, picks up the chair and is tempted to use it. As Hogan raises the chair above his head, Orndorff starts shoving Hogan, trying to tempt him to use it. (Of course, if he did, he’d get the disqualification, and Orndorff would win the title.) In the end, Hogan tosses aside the chair.
Later, Orndorff grabs a (the?) chair and delivers the weakest chair shot I’ve ever seen. Well, the weakest I’ve seen until a few minutes later when Hogan, as Heenan has rushed into the ring and accidentally distracts the referee, delivers another weak-arse chair shot to Orndorff on the outside. Hogan gets back into the ring, but Orndorff, selling the chair shot, is counted out. Hogan has to come to the aide of the referee (who would later cost him the WWE Championship…or rather his evil twin brother would) before he can do the ceremonial posing after the victory.
That’s the end of Part 1.
Turns out there will still be some standard matches in addition to the tag team battle royale. Nikolai Volkoff is out here, sans the Iron Sheik, and sings the Russian National Anthem. He’ll take on the newly renamed Tama (the artist formerly known as the Tonga Kid). The match ends with Volkoff getting a pinfall over Tama, but his feet are on the ropes. If you’ve ever seen Valentine defeating the Junk Yard Dog at the first Wrestlemania, you know how this one ends.
And in a second half that lasts just 35 minutes, we’ve got yet another singles match…man, how short is that battle royale going to be? What is it, everybody gets in, then immediately get tossed out? Is it is a two man battle royale???
Battle of the Dogs here as the Dynamite Kid of the British Bulldogs (along with Mathilda) takes on Moondog Rex. As you might expect from Dynamite, there’s a lot of speed here. And as you might expect from anyone facing Rex in 1986, this is an extended squash.
Another funny moment as Gorilla pretends to mistake referee David Hebner with former boxer Chuck Wepner.
Okay, this is really an extended squash as this goes almost ten minutes before the Dynamite Kid gets a crucifix on Moondog Rex for the pinfall. This leaves us about fifteen minutes for the battle royale. I hope they edit out the entrances or this is going to be the shortest battle royal ever.
As we come back from break, the teams are entering the ring (heels first, it looks like) and the announcer is going through the list of who is entered. From the looks of things, it’s just about every top team in the WWE including the Moondogs (okay, all the top teams AND the Moondogs), the Dream Team, Studd and Bundy, the Hart Foundation, the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff, the Killer Bees, the Machines, S.D. Jones and Mike Rotundo (okay, all the top teams plus the Moondogs and S.D. Jones and Mike Rotundo), the Islanders, Steve Gatorwolf and Chief Jay Strongbow (okay all the top teams plus…well, you get the picture) and the British Bulldogs.
Hmm..okay, Gorilla just said it was a 24-man tag team battle royale, so I’m missing somebody (or rather two somebodies). Let’s see who? Ah. the mystery team was, as I kinda figured, the Rougeaus. I thought I had seen Jacques but couldn’t remember hearing them introduced.
And with just ten minutes or so to go, this is going to be a lot of quick eliminations. Studd is tossed right off the bat, but it was a while before the next team (S.D. Jones and Mike Rotundo) was eliminated. Not sure why Studd got tossed, since their battle vs. the Machines would have been interesting.
After a moment, the eliminations start, as Gatorwolf/Strongbow, the Rougeaus and the Hart Foundation, and the Machines get tossed. I thought the Machines were supposed to have won such a battle royale. I know they had a few such events. The Moondogs and the Killer Bees go, thanks to the Iron Sheik.
With the elimination of the Dream Team, we’re down to the final three teams: the Sheik and Volkoff, the Islanders and the British Bulldogs. Interesting scenario as the Islanders and Bulldogs go at it, with the Sheik and Volkoff kinda staying back and letting the face teams tear into each other.
The Bulldogs eliminate the Islanders and so Sheik and Volkoff take on the Bulldogs to decide the battle royale. So again, there’s the hint that Sheik and Volkoff were the heir apparent for the tag titles.
Davey Boy Smith nearly has the Iron Sheik eliminated but Volkoff dispatches the Dynamite Kid and then kicks Davey Boy Smith over the top rope. The winners (and I have to be honest, I’m a little surprised at the result) of the battle royale: The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff.
And the ring announcers says to drive home safe as we go off the air. Man, I was just not feeling it this time. Pretty much the WWE loaded up every tag team it had and shipping them to Texas, and tossed in Hogan-Orndorff, which in late-1986 was still pretty much the hottest feud the WWE and indeed wrestling had.
Just to give this card some historic perspective: This show took place less than a week after Magnum T.A. was involved in the car crash that ended his career. As a way to get some sort of storyline going for Starrcade, Nikita Koloff was turned face and inserted in the main event against Flair. Also, it was held on the same day Neil Bonnett won the Nationwise 500 at Rockinham.
johnmilner.ca 