For more wrestling recaps, visit https://johnmilner.ca/wrestling/.
Reviewed in January 2011
Let’s see what the Fed had to offer in the fall of 1986. We start off with Billy Jack Haynes vs. “The Ace” Cowboy Bob Orton. And hey, Orton gets theme music. Ah yes, this is when Orton was teaming with Don Muraco, was managed by Jimmy Hart and feuding with Roddy Piper. Much like how Paul Orndorff came to the ring to “Real American” to mock Hulk Hogan, Orton came to the ring to bagpipe music to mock Roddy Piper. And hey, no cast on Orton. That was the first time in months, even years that Orton didn’t have a cast on his arm.
In due course, Haynes gets the advantage and sends Orton to the floor. Orton looks like he’s hearing voices in his head, they talk to him, they counsel him. Oh wait, wrong Orton. I wondered why Gorilla Monsoon hadn’t referred to him as the Apex Predator.
Despite Orton having the program with Piper and Haynes being kinda rudderless since his program with Hercules ended (wait, were he and Ken Patera feuding with Demolition yet? Or was that still a year away? Yeah, the Demos didn’t show up until late 1986), it’s Haynes who is in control for quite a bit of this match.
I always thought Haynes was one of those guys they missed doing something with. He was huge in the Pacific Northwest Area and I think had a good run in Florida, but never did anything in WWE. Maybe he didn’t have the promo work but he had a good look and could have made for a decent I-C champ.
Haynes and Orton battle out of the ring and back inside. The two men are going toe-to-toe when the bell rings, announcing that the time limit has expired. Orton seems to agree until Haynes gets the full nelson on Orton. The Ace decides he should go and make sure lil’ Randy is practicing his RKO in the dressing room and takes a hike. Monsoon declares this a “moral victory” for Billy Jack.
Strange that this would be the opener. Next up was to be the Rougeaus vs. the Moondogs. Jacques is unable to compete (and selling said injury, he’s at ringside on crutches) so Raymond is teaming with Lanny Poffo. “Leaping Lanny” has a poem putting over the Rougeaus … at least, I think that’s what he was saying, half of it is in French.
Maybe it’s because the Rougeaus became such heels later on, the image of Jacques at ringside on crutches makes me think he’ll use it to clobber Lanny in a dastardly turn later. That feeling is not exactly lessened when Jacques goes to the announce table (manned by Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes, I should point out) and basically buries the team of Raymond and Poffo…but in the nicest, face way.
Fun fact: Moondog Rex was the original Demolition Smash, before Barry Darsow took over the role.
The story here is that Lanny and Raymond don’t have the continuity of the Rougeau Brothers and therefore will have trouble against the Moondogs. In the end, the Moondogs toss Lanny and try and double-team Raymond. Jacques uses his crutch to trip up Spot and Raymond pins Rex with a hi-cross body.
Jimmy Jack Funk (Florida’s Jesse Barr) is in the ring. Methinks that, much like today, if you’re in the ring with no entrance when the show comes back from break, you’ll be able to count how many lights are in the ceiling before all is said and done. Funk will take on WWE Hall of Famer Koko B. Ware who comes to the ring with Frankie and to the tune of “Piledriver” …which is pretty awesome considering that song wasn’t released for another year. See, that’s the great thing about WWE 24/7 …it reveals that WWE has mastered the science of time travel. Sadly, all they use it for is to go back in time and deliver versions of the wrestling album to their sound crew.
Not sure how Orton and Haynes opened the show with these last two matches on the card. If anything, this match should have “jerked the curtain”. Of course, considering that the crowd started a “BORING” chant during an extended Funk in control sequence, maybe the bookers knew what they were doing. Koko does make the comeback, but Jimmy Jack uses his hangman’s noose to choke out Koko. The referee finally decides to disqualify Funk. Not sure why Koko couldn’t have gone over cleanly here.
The final match of Part 1 of this show is Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat. Interesting to note the Boston crowd had a lot of cheers for Savage and boos for Steamboat. Maybe Boston was “Bizarro World” before Canada got saddled with that moniker. I know, heaven forbid that Canadians should cheer for home-grown athletes. We should boo Canadians for being Canadian just like the Americans do.
Savage and Steamboat was one of those feuds they probably could have booked as just Savage vs. Steamboat, champion vs. challenger. They didn’t need the whole larynx injury and George Steele’s involvement. They could have just as easily booked Savage and Steamboat the way the NWA booked Flair and Steamboat a few years later. Just send the two guys out there and let them tear the house down. If anything, the whole injury angle meant fans lost several months of Savage-Steamboat clashes before the climax of the feud at WrestleMania III.
This match really hints at just how great Steamboat-Savage could be. The match has a slow burn that really hits his stride within the last five minutes, with several two counts for Steamboat. Savage tosses Steamboat to the outside and goes to the top rope. But the Macho Man misses the double axe handle (the replay shows he slips) and injures his ankle. Steamboat scoots back in and gets a count-out victory…which is strange because Savage had only been outside for about two seconds before the bell.
After a brief intermission, we are back with Part II. We start off with Salvatore Bellomo (who gets soundly booed) vs. Hercules, who doesn’t get much better, but the weird part is that Hercules is working heel here. You’d think Bellomo would at least get a luke-warm face reaction.
Fun Fact: Bellomo wrestled in the first ever ECW Championship match, losing to Jimmy Snuka. Today he runs a wrestling school in Belgium. I guess he can teach Belgians how to job out to Herc’s backbreaker in short order.
Don Muraco, complete with beard, kilt and Piper’s music faces a newly-face -turned Roddy Piper. Yeah…Muraco does look good with the beard. I’d say that Roddy had just turned face, but from what I’ve heard, he got a real face reaction during his bout against Mr. T at WrestleMania II.
I’d like to think that it was wrestling fans deciding they’d rather cheer the wrestler rather than an actor. Maybe if the cheering had been a little louder, or if Vince had paid attention, we might have been spared seeing Lawrence Taylor, Dennis Rodman, Drew Carey and David Arquette stepping into the ring.
Piper starts off strong, but after the action spills to the outside, Muraco spears Piper into the ring post. When Piper storms back to the ring, he takes a page out of the Abdullah the Butcher playbook and bites the forehead of Muraco.
In short order, both men are busted wide open. Can’t believe they didn’t edit the heck out of this to make it more PG-friendly. (Oh well, at least they aren’t wrestling in a Hell in a Cell match and come away scot-free, blood-wise!)
The end comes when Fuji interferes. However, Piper ducks out of the way as Muraco goes for the kill. Muraco’s knee hits Fuji instead, and Piper rolls him up for the pinfall.
Wow! Up next is a World Women’s Tag Team Championship match that doesn’t involve the Jumping Bomb Angels. Penny Mitchell and Candace Perdue challenge the Lelani Kai and Judy Martin.
One of the drawbacks to watching the old shows is that, in terms of the title matches, you kinda already know the outcome. However, there was one moment where, after Martin and Kai accidentally clotheslined each other, Perdue went for a cover on Martin and it looked as though the ref made the three count before Kai pushed him aside.
For a brief moment, I wondered if my knowledge of pre-Jumping Bomb Angel Women’s Tag Team title changes was lacking. However, the match continued and the future Glamour Girls retain.
No matter what people may say about the current Divas/Women’s Division in WWE, it’s not all that worse than what the Fed was offering in the mid-80s, save the Moolah-Richter feud, until the Angels showed up to temporarily ignite the Tag Team division. Even the crowd was starting the BORING chant again. (I think that’s what they’re chanting.)
Sika vs. Scott McGhee is up next. Man, no wonder the crowd is chanting “boring”. We’re pretty deep in the card for a JTTS vs. jobber match like this. McGhee gets about two moves in before Sika takes over. I think they delayed the Go Home sequence so the Wizard could bellow something to Gorilla Monsoon. This is literally squash with a side of squash.
McGhee does get a dropkick in but as he comes off the rope with a …irony of ironies …a Samoan drop for the victory.
Earlier, we saw the Women’s World Tag Team Championship. Now we get the Men’s Tag Team Championship…or better known as simply the WWE Tag Team Championship. The Hart Foundation challenge the British Bulldogs.
Cool, the Harts are in their mainly black tights, which I always thought were much cooler than “the Pink and Black Attack” colour scheme. Really? Was that a rib on the Harts? Was it a challenge to them the way the polka dots were like for Dusty Rhodes?
No Captain Lou, but we do get Matilda and, of course, an extended comedy routine between the dog and the Mouth of the South.
Once the hijinks are over, we get to another in a great series between the Bulldogs and the Hart Foundation. They do a long sequence where the Harts keep Davey Boy Smith in the ring and work him over and prevent him from tagging in the Dynamite Kid. I think this was before Kid was injured during a Hamilton, Ontario match against Orton and Muraco, so I think was for psychology rather than to protect Kid.
Once Kid comes in, he is the proverbial “House of Fire” against Hart. However, Neidhart comes off the top rope and nails Hart, Kid and the referee. Neidhart puts Hart on top of Dynamite, but just before the three count is made by a recovered referee, Smith comes in to break up the pin. The ref is out and Neidhart creates a pinfall opportunity again but this time the Kid kicks out. As the Anvil argues with the referee about the count, Davey Boy comes in from behind and rolls up Neidhart for the pinfall.
Even though neither man was legal, the pinfall stands. The Harts attack the Bulldog post-match but Smith fights them off.
Three decent matches (the World Tag Team title and I-C title matches, plus a bloody Piper – Muraco bout) saves the show, but there was a lot of filler that would have been better suited for Superstars of Wrestling or Wrestling Challenge.
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