Reviewed May 1988
Let’s go back to January 1988 and see what WWE had to offer to its New York City patrons. Vince McMahon, Lord Alfred Hayes and possibly Bobby “the Brain” Heenan will be manning the mics. I say “possibly” because it took Heenan most of McMahon’s introduction to get him a headset and a microphone.
Scott Casey takes on Jose Bautista…er, I mean Estrada in the opener. Interesting note that this card took place the day after the original Royal Rumble, as Heenan and McMahon discuss the signing for the February 5 rematch between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.
Heenan makes a bunch of jokes about Casey being from Texas, but it’s the Texan that gets the victory with a shoulderbreaker into a pinfall situation, which is a pretty weak ending.
Next up, Sam Houston vs. Danny Davis. I think this was the only match up the bookers could make for Houston in 1988. Houston is all but out late in the match when he runs full-tilt into the corner. Davis tries to get the victory but Houston kicks out. Davis starts jawing with the referee and Houston recovers to get a small package.
“The Natural” Butch Reed (with Slick) faces off against the Junk Yard Dog. I would have been hard-pressed to say the Dog was still with WWE in early 1988. Oh wait, he was among the last three (along withe fellow Stampede Wrestling alumni Bad News Brown and Bret Hart) in the Wrestlemania IV battle royale. Reed comes to the ring to the tune of Slick’s “Jive Soul Bro”. Heenan says that’s his favourite song off the Piledriver album. McMahon: What about “Stand Back”? Heenan: Uh…that was my second favourite.
Slick interferes enough that the Junk Yard Dog chases him and finally catches up to him. However, as he does so, Reed comes up from behind and gets a roll-up with a handful of tights to get the victory.
Omar Atlas vs. Dusty Wolfe. Give the bookers credit, this is the most evenly-matched clash of the show so far. Seriously…going into this match, I have no clue who might win. (As great as JYD was, by early 1988 he was a Jobber to the Stars.)
Between all three commentators making fun of his robe and Hayes dismissing Wolfe’s ability and physique, and he and Heenan talking about him going to the Terry Garvin School of Self-Defence, you’d think Wolfe had just signed with WCW.
Speaking of WCW, the commentators spent more time talking about Heenan’s then-upcoming appearance on the Letterman Show and the upcoming Hogan/Bigelow vs. Dibiase and Virgil tag match than they did about Atlas and Wolfe. At least Tony Schiavone didn’t show up to call this “the greatest night in the history of our great sport.”
Atlas got the win in this Battle of the Jobbers with a roll-up. Heenan, quite rightly, quips that perhaps Atlas hooks the tights but McMahon denies it.
Finally, a semi-decent upper midcard bout as Don Muraco (with Superstar Billy Graham) takes on the One Man Gang (with Slick). For the marks out there for whom wrestling didn’t exist before 1997, they didn’t dub in the commentary here. When they mention “the Rock” they aren’t meaning the part-time wrestler/full-time Hollywood celebrity.
After splitting with Bob Orton (better known today as Randy’s father who gets beaten up by Kane or whoever’s feuding with Randy) and turning face, Muraco declared that he didn’t need any managers, he didn’t need any partners, he was going to be “the Rock”. Of course, shortly afterwards, the WWE paired him up with manager/second Billy Graham.
In a bit of a surprise, the Gang gets the victory. The referee is tied up with Slick and Graham outside the ring as Muraco has the Gang in a sleeper hold. Reed comes down to ringside and nails Muraco with Slick’s cane. The Gang gets the victory and he and Reed attack Graham until Muraco recovers and runs all three men off.
Apparently, rather than have Sean Mooney interview guys in the back, McMahon does several interview segments in the ring. He has Bobby Heenan and the Islanders, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Slick and Butch Reed. Heenan talks about the Islanders NOT kidnapping Matilda, Duggan talks about taking on Harley Race and winning the Royal Rumble, and Slick and Reed talk about the incident with Muraco and Graham. I can’t believe “exacaticly” didn’t get over as a catch phrase. Maybe I’ll start using it in casual conversation.
Now, you’d think that World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan taking part in a tag match that furthered the biggest feud in the WWE at that time would be the main event. Instead, it’s going on at the halfway mark.
Interesting to note that Hogan took on Virgil: when the Future NWO explodes! I don’t know if it’s just the match-up but when Hogan tagged in Bigelow, the crowd really popped. I wonder why they didn’t more to build Bigelow as the second (or third if you include Savage) biggest face in WWE, then have him turn heel in late 1989 to take on Hogan. Instead, by Starrcade ’88, Bigelow was in the NWA, challenging Barry Windham for the U.S. title (and jobbing).
Bigelow got the victory with a big splash on Virgil (after Hogan hit the legdrop, of course).
We’re going from a tag match featuring Hulk Hogan and Bam Bam Bigelow to one featuring Barry Horowitz and Steve Lombardi. Okay, they’re facing the Young Stallions, so it’s not like Horowitz and Lombardi are the feature of the match. Not too bad, though, since you have a future Hall of Famer in future Four Horseman Paul Roma in the bout. Wait…what do you mean Roma wasn’t included in the Hall of Fame Horsemen unit? What a miscarriage of justice! Actually I’m surprised Lombardi isn’t in the Hall. If they can put Vince McMahon’s limo driver and Johnny Rodz why not Pat Patterson’s “friend” Lombardi? Jim Powers pinned Steve Lombardi with a powerslam. Extended squash. Good match but did anyone really expect someone like Barry Horowitz to get the victory over a team like the Young Stallions, who were just coming off the only push they’d ever receive? (Well, Roma went on to form Power and Glory and got…well, pushed right back to the mid-card just a slot above where the Stallions were in the fall of 1987.) I guess Horowitz did get a couple of wins over Skip of the Bodydonnas. Ahhh…Tammy Sytch in 1995, before the drugs took over.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. King Harley Race: So much wrong with this feud. I hated Duggan because even back in the day, I kinda understood just how stupid being a mark was, and if there was a bonafide leader of the marks, it was “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan. (Considering I’ve seen shows from Europe and Canada where Duggan leads the crowd in chants of “USA! USA!” It’s like someone said “Hey, Duggan’s stupid antics and Hooo! and USA chants are way over with the crowd here in New York and Boston, we’ll just use this template for his matches no matter where it’s taken place.” And the sad part is, I’ve seen fans in Toronto chant USA right back to Duggan, even when he was facing someone from Canada like Dino Bravo.
As for Race…well, it’s just sad that there is a generation of WWE marks who grew up thinking Race was just the guy who came out in a crown, and against Duggan and JYD, was this foolish buffoon. I’d like to think that anyone who sees/hears about Race today does so from the standpoint that Race was a 7-time (actually 8 if you count the unannounced title change in Asia after Starrcade 83) NWA World Heavyweight Champion and a guy that no less than Ric Flair says is legitimately one of the toughest men he knows.
Duggan gets the victory. Race was coming off the top rope but Duggan caught him and turned it into a powerslam for the pinfall.
This leads us to the mat classic that is Ron Bass vs. Hillbilly Jim. This was a crappy match made a little bit more fun by the commentary of McMahon and Hayes. Heenan had left to second Race and the Islanders in an upcoming match, so the commentary wasn’t as good as it could have been, though. I just remembered that the reason Monsoon isn’t here is because he’d had a mild heart attack a short time before…hence why he was absent from the Royal Rumble.
There is a sorta funny moment when Hayes makes a joke and McMahon completely no-sells it and from the look on Hayes’ face you kinda get that he’s feeling the sting. It’s one of those “I’m smiling but I’m really pissed off” moments.
Earlier in the bout, I think Hayes calls Bass a “bully”. Hey, come on Outlaw, show tolarance and respect, don’t be a bully, be a star…or in this case, be a mid-carder that ended up jobbing your hair to Brutus “the Barber” Beefcake.
Wow! Bass delivered a form of a pedigree for the victory. Woulda thought Hillbilly was going over there.
The Main Event is the Islanders (with Bobby Heenan) vs. the British Bulldogs. The story of course was Bobby Heenan’s taunting of the Bulldogs over the recent “dognapping” of Matilda. Heenan came to the ring with an empty dogleash.
The match itself was the better part of 20 minutes and went back and forth, with the Islanders wearing down the Bulldogs for an extended period of time. However, in the end, Smith went to town on both Haku and Tama and seemed to be on the verge of victory. However, he grabbed Heenan’s “leash” and started to use it on his opponents, leading to a disqualification. Kind of a weird way to end the show, since I’m not sure how the Islanders’ victory would “send ’em home happy”. I suppose it’s possible that the Bulldogs got their revenge after this went off the air.
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